Who betrayed your trust? Did you see it coming? Are you sad, angry, disgusted or surprised? Or do you feel shamed, fearful, lonely and insecure? List down your feelings.
Resist the urge to retaliate. Revenge will prolong the hurt and delay your emotional healing. If you prod a cut on your skin, the longer the wound stays. Revenge will leave you with a permanent scar.
Take time away from the person who betrayed you. As you reflect, don’t call or message them and don’t check their social media updates. Contacting the one who betrayed you fuels resentment into hot flames. If it’s someone you can do away with, break ties soonest possible and move on.
Forgiveness is not synonymous to reconciliation. You can release someone from your life without reserving any grudges. I was once hurt so severely by someone I trusted with every breath I have. I called the person – we prayed together – and we released each other for good.
If you don’t have the courage to do as I did, reach out to a mutual friend. Talk over it and reconcile, OR, forgive and release each other cordially. Jesus released Judas during their last meal together. Don’t feel guilty cutting links with repeat offenders. You can’t spend your life repairing damages every day.
But if the one who betrayed you is someone you can’t release from your life – partner, parent, sibling, child – talk over the betrayal candidly if you’re both emotionally mature. Otherwise, seek external help to process the pain. Time doesn’t fix anything. Facing the issue(s) and forgiving one another heals.
DR. K. N. JACOB
