Almost every wife at one time or the other wishes she can say certain things to her husband but she either does not think she can say them or she thinks she will be misunderstood. Consequently, she doesn’t say them. But marriages would be better off if spouses can tell each other some of the things on their minds.
If they do, most spouses will be better spouses and most marriages will become better. When these things are not said, they tend to sap the energy and excitement out of the marriage. So in the interest of saving marriages and helping wives get things off their chest in order to help husbands know what is on the minds of their wives, here are some of the things your wife wants to tell you but finding it difficult to. This may not apply to all women.
1. There is a reason I married you. Do not take that reason away.
The average woman had to make a choice between the man she is married to and another man or other men who were interested in her. And there is always a reason why she chose to marry Mr A over Mr B. If she married you for a particular reason, she did so with the expectation that after marriage, she will get more of it. So, if she married you because you gave her more attention, she expects more attention from you after marriage. If you do not give her that which made her choose you after marriage, you disappoint her and make her disillusioned in her choice in marrying you. As a husband, be interested in knowing why your wife chose you, and try to meet the expectation.
2. Intimacy is more important to me than sex.
Men usually think sex is the same as intimacy; women on the other hand make a distinction between intimacy and sex and they are right to do so. Sex is an expression of intimacy but intimacy is bigger than sex. Sex is an act; intimacy is a never-ending communication. Without intimacy, sex is empty. With intimacy, nothing beats sex. So, if you are a man, learn about intimacy and to enable you to satisfy the emotional needs of your wife.
3. Don’t bring your work home.
When a man comes home, his wife expects him to give her his fullest attention. If the first thing he does is to pull out his laptop and continue working she feels rejected. If for some reason you bring work home, make time to chat with your wife and give her as much attention as she needs. That will make her feel that she is important to you. She will then be understanding enough to give you space to attend to the work.
4. Stop trying to catch me cheating on you, because if I am, you will never know.
Many wives endure the constant suspicion and accusation that they are cheating on their husbands. The men monitor their movements and phone calls and messages and they find this behaviour laughable. If a woman is really cheating on her husband and she does not want him to know, it will be very difficult for him to know. A man should just trust his wife and believe the best of her.
5. Pay more attention to the children.
Most wives complain that their husbands don’t pay any attention to the children an that is not good enough. They don’t play with them; they don’t talk with them; they don’t spend time with them. Fathers should never underestimate how much their children yearn for their company.
6. I love your mother but I hate it when you make me feel that she is more important to you than she is to me.
It is true that we all owe so much to our mothers but once you marry, the order of importance changes. That is the way of life. Your mother can be number one till you marry but once you marry, she cannot be number one. I know this is a hard one but it is the way it should be. The bible actually goes further to ask a man to leave his father and mother for his wife.